It's been awhile since I've last posted and oh how I missed you all. My virtual readers, my friends, my therapy session...I've missed having this creative outlet.
Why has it been so long? Aside from juggling my social life with my two jobs I've suffered from self-sabotage and self-doubt.
What is self-sabotage you ask?
It's defined by sites like Psychology Today as,
"Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in our life and interferes with long-standing goals."
But it goes further than this, it completely hinders your full potential and can stop you from really achieving what you want to do.
I constantly found myself in the past few months doubting myself, and not because of other people but because I told myself to not try. When it comes to other people judging me or doubting me I honestly couldn't care less because I'm happy with who I am and what choices I make to achieve my goals, but as soon as I put those thoughts in my head myself I instantly doubt myself.
Just imagine how much more we could achieve if we just had more confidence or belief in our self. I can remember so many times when I was younger competing for a race and just telling myself I couldn't do it, almost wanting to quit every time. After the race or performance I always was surprised by my achievements...that I could actually do it, my mum would also tell me to stop self- sabotaging and to stop caring what I thought and what others thought.
Just think if Beyonce had took every little criticism she was told and put that in her head to create further self doubt. We wouldn't have the Queen Bee!
“It’s easy to hear the voices of others and often very difficult to hear your own. Every person you meet is going to want something different from you. The question is: what do you want for
yourself?”- Beyonce
A big part of it is what I think others will see in me and that there will be bad judgement, but half the time everyone is so focused on their own hussle and mission in life that anyone discouraging someone trying to achieve their goals isn't someone you should worry about. If someone you know is working hard to better than themselves don't put them down but be proud that they are trying, which is what we should all do for ourselves.
We all need to stop putting ourselves down and creating scenarios in our heads before we even start trying. Stop worrying what others will think and focus on where you want to see yourself in the future. How many times have you not gone to the gym because you're worried other people will watch and laugh? Or how many times have you had a great idea for a business or for your job and you just pushed it aside and simply said it's too hard.
Get up and start your day by wanting to succeed. Yes, you may not always be successful with it but at least you can say you tried. No, I'm not trying to be some motivational speaker or influencer but it's something that has been on my mind lately as I struggle to put words to a document, or pen to paper. I kept self-doubting my writing, that anyone will care, or that this will go anywhere. But I know that writing for me (good and bad) makes me the happiest and that I need to pursue being creative despite worries I may have.
Long story short... believe in yourself more, that goes for everyone, in whatever you're doing. Do what makes you happy and f*ck your own self-doubt and screw anyone that tries to put you down for trying.
Two middle fingers up to your self-doubt and self-sabotage!
T x
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