Just kidding... there's some criticism that you should pay attention to, but if it's unwarranted then you're naturally just going to shut it out - its human.
Whether you want to receive it or not you are going to experience some sort of criticism whether it be from your boss, someone you don't like, a family member, or even a friend. How you deal with this though can affect how you hold and see yourself in the future. Not all criticism is bad, some can be seen as 'constructive criticism', or you can take bad criticism and turn it into something more positive.
When criticism is negative it's natural to want to be hostile or to be negative back.
How dare they say this to you.
How do they not see all the hard work you put into your project?
Before you say anything harmful back that could jeopardise your work position or worse, a friendship, take a moment to think before you reply. It may hurt to hear but try and hear what they are saying and reflect on if there is anything you can improve on or turn around to make postive.
This happened to me recently, where I was given some harsh criticism, at the time I was so angry that I wanted to point out everything that was wrong with what they were saying. I wanted to prove them wrong and stand up for myself. Of course there's nothing wrong with that (especially when the person is just being plain right rude), but in this circumstance I just nodded and listened. After I got home and was able to properly process the critiques and I realised that yes some areas that were mentioned weren't fair, but there were things that I needed to improve on. I sat down and wrote down all that I can improve on and fix, I made a choice to turn the negative criticism into something I could become stronger in.
Here are some steps in dealing with criticism that I now use:
- Take a mental breath and listen to what they are saying.
- Some people don't realise that what they are saying is hurtful so take that into consideration before you respond, and help them to see that what they are saying hurts your feelings.
- I know it's going to be extremely hard but try not to take everything they say personally. That mark you got doesn't reflect on how lovely you are as a person, just be sure to study harder the next time.
- And try not to stress about it, move on and improve. This will make you more resilient and stronger the next time you receive criticism.
Remember that you can decide on how you will react and what you will do with that, in the end you know what will truely benefit you and what won't. Stand up for yourself when you feel you have to and turn criticism into something more positive if you see an improvement that could be made. There is confidence in accepting you have room to improve on, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to respond either.
Stop, think and then decide if you want to take some form of action.
T x
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