I talk a lot about emotions on this blog and I've already touched on how some people feel emotions more intensely, but the one key takeaway I've learnt about emotions is that you sometimes need to feel your emotions to heal from it.
I'm not talking about some physical cut that needs some stitches but instead the more internal scars you may hold on to or the feelings you've been bottling up all week.
It occurred to me recently that I tend to hold onto my feelings or emotions until something terrible happens and I explode. I know that I'm a very emotional person and I'm talking very emotional, but I've found myself trying to hide it more so I don't come across sensitive or I'll tell myself to push through it to get over it. As I've come to learn that's not always a great idea.
Ever heard the saying, 'After a big cry you always feel so much better'? I know that everyone is different and sometimes suppressing feelings can hide the pain but there's a reason why so many people go to therapy to feel and work through it right? These painful or negative emotions we try so hard to push down or push through are actually the emotions that are craving for healing and how can we heal ourselves and listen to our feelings if we don't deal with it head-on?
It's a scary thought to fully give into your emotions, to get angry, to cry, or to be scared. Maybe we need to stop looking at these emotions as only a negative thing and instead see that they can be turned into a positive feeling if we use it to heal and move on instead.
For example; if you feel like you're unworthy of love or yourself, that self-loathing and hate will not go away if you push that feeling down and cover it up with numerous social gatherings, forced relationships or some temporary high that could make you forget that feeling. In the end, the only way you're going to come to terms with yourself is to confront those feelings and get to the bottom of why you feel that way.
I've been more emotional than usual lately and that's a combination of a lot of things but usually general life stress, money, work, and moving house. If you add my usual emotions on top of that it just starts to build and build. I became so sick of crying all the time and being stressed that I tried to trick myself into feeling great. I would do this by always trying to be positive, surrounding myself with people to boost my mood, and to push through the bad until it wasn't a big issue anymore. This would work sometimes and for small issues but those feelings I suppressed weren't being dealt with but instead being covered up.
Eventually, the universe would throw another thing at me, or sometimes it would be a very small inconvenience, and out of nowhere, I would just feel the weight of everything on me. By not accepting what I was feeling I was not allowing myself to heal and properly look at the situation, yes crying or getting upset may not be the most flattering but the way your body feels lighter afterwards is such a great feeling. It allows you to then think rationally and then focus on fixing the problem or issue because you've just accepted all your emotions.
I'm sure most of you have had a similar experience as most of us will have to face some pretty emotional pain throughout our life, and unfortunately, it's not something we can just avoid. Now if I want to get all factual on you all it's going to be for good reason. Bottling up or suppressing emotion has been proven to cause lasting physiological and cognitive damage and when we hold onto all this emotional energy it can get trapped in our body and cause inflammation in the cells and can ultimately lead to disease. Yikes!
Now don't go freaking out on me just yet because we know that with stress and emotions there are great ways to combat it like moving around (exercise), talking to someone, writing it down (that's what I do), and the one I've been focusing on for this blog....release. Release the feeling and accept it. Whether that's having a big old cry or yelling from the top of a mountain (you can yell anywhere the mountain term just sounded more theatric). Studies show that crying actually activates
the parasympathetic nervous system and helps promote a feeling of calm.
So obviously there is no 'one size fits all' method for battling emotions but from my experience, I've learnt that facing them head-on helps me better understand myself. When I look back at all the hard times I've endured and faced I'm appreciative of all the lessons I've learnt and how much stronger I am from them now.
I'm no doctor or psychologist, but the next time you feel like bottling in your emotions or hiding how you feel try letting some of it out (in a safe way please). Stop avoiding the pain and hurt and instead accept it and you'll find it'll be a lot easier to then move on or look at the issue with a clear mind.
Love T,
x
Of course, if you are going through some really hard and dark feelings please seek the help of a professional or reach out to a friend or a hotline. I have provided some numbers below:
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