Do you often find yourself hurting when you see others hurt, or constantly dwell on how other people might be feeling or reacting- which subsequently changes your mood as well?
Some people just feel a lot more than others.
People that are generally categorised as feeling too deeply or intensely can often be mislabelled as having a mental illness such as Emotion Regulation Disorder, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, or Dysthymia (chronic depression).
Not that there is anything to be ashamed of if you do have one of the above mentioned but this just also means you're a "deep thinker", or a "highly sensitive person".
Something I’ve learnt recently: I feel emotions A LOT.
When I was younger I used to hate how much I would feel, like it made me seem weak and less confident. If someone hurt I would hurt, my actions followed my heart, not my head, and every emotion felt 10X bigger than what it should. Am I dramatic? Maybe...
I’m what people call a “deep thinker”, we feel emotions deeply and intensely. We also tend to be imaginative and sensitive, which paints the storyline’s we create.
This allows us to be empathic and intuitive, but can also be extremely overwhelming. When we go through something painful we lose perspective and become consumed by fear and despair. We hold on to every feeling and use it against ourselves to put ourselves down instead of taking a step back and thinking first.
If I ever feel overwhelmed I take a deep breath and think of all the other bad things I’ve overcome and realise this too will pass. I also ask myself, “will I look back in 5, 10+ years and care this much then?”
Feeling emotions deeply is a great thing but it can also be very lonely at times. Understanding your personality and your emotions are important to understanding how to look after yourself.
In feeling a lot I’ve noticed that it can often cloud my judgment, and therefore I make rash decisions without thinking about other decisions first. Sometimes it works in my favour and other times it most definitely does not.
On the other side of the spectrum you have people that side more with their head and have strong rationality. Their decisions are based more on facts, making plans, and have a problem-solving approach to situations and life. A great aspect to have when making hard decisions and being more rational about outcomes. But this can also lead to overthinking, over planning, stressing, and self-criticism. Or sometimes causing them to become rigid, once they have their thought they are set on it and can therefore get frustrated when people don‘t follow their way.
Of course a perfect combination would be to have an equal amount of both heart and head decision making. But that’s what makes this all so much more interesting (well I find it to be at least).
We are all wired differently like a crazy maze, every maze is different, every decision making process is different, and that is what gets us to the end destination. You may end up having the same decision as some people but how you got there is unique to you.
Personally I know that I lead with my emotions and feel them strongly, so I need to make more conscious efforts to be more headstrong. But in saying that, being a ”deep feeler” has made me connect to people in another way that thinking with my head wouldn’t allow me to do.
Plan with your head, follow your heart. Make decisions that you think and feel are right.
T x
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