Ending any kind of friendship or relationship can be hard, but especially hard when that person is someone you considered a close friend or even a best friend. Grab the ice-cream because this one is going to get deep (that, and I just really like eating whilst reading or watching something online).
If you're lucky enough to not experience this I fully envy you, because losing or cutting ties with a best friend can often hurt just as much if not more than a romantic relationship breakup. This is due to the friendship you hold with them, you've told them everything over the past years, stayed up late talking about movie plots, got excited for each other, cried for each other, and lived moments of life with each other.
A best friend breakup is brutal. Sometimes you feel it coming slowly creeping on the friendship before it ends, sometimes it comes out of nowhere, there could be a betrayal, a growing apart, or the realisation that maybe they were never that good for you (or you for them).
So what to do when you're dealing with a friendship breakup? Learn and grow. I know this advice can sound old and tired by now but if the friendship has ended it was probably for a reason. Knowing what this reason was can help you move on and apply better lessons to your future friendships. Even if you parted ways with the friend because they were no longer a good friend or person to you anymore, you can still use it as a reminder for the future.
If you have a friendship where it's 'all give and no take' you have to look at your own self-worth and figure out how much more you can give to this person. If you are constantly reaching out to them, going above and beyond for them, helping them, putting them before yourself, and getting nothing in return...I hate to say it, but they're not worth it. They may not have always been a lousy friend to you and you may have had some amazing memories together, but at the end of the day, you need friends that will be there and support you.
What if the friendship just kind of fizzled out? Like romantic relationships this can happen too, and you'll know it when you realise you aren't fazed if you don't see each other or talk regularly anymore. Sometimes it just happens, and although you were once close there is always the possibility in the future you will find your way back to each other.
Another classic is the 'I can never make time for you now' person. Maybe they just got a new partner or maybe their life is getting hectic, reassure them that you understand and keep trying but listen to your gut. If you feel like all you do is reach out to them and get terrible responses one after the after try and talk to them to let them know you feel this way. The final nail in the coffin though is the classic ghosting and the only contacting you when they need something. Sorry to tell you but this friendship is ready to be done. Tell yourself (and them) you deserve better and move on!
If the friendship ended and all you feel is hurt and betrayal ( a lá Khloe Kardashian and Jordyn Woods), play your angry music, vent, do what you need to do to feel better, no one can tell you how to feel. I suggest not making the situation worse though and fighting fire with fire, instead give it some time. You'll soon realise that it's better the situation happened so you can see you're better off without them and that you can find and have friends that won't hurt you.
No matter how the friendship ends it's always going to feel pretty shitty there's no denying that, the only remedy is time and learning from it. Make new memories with someone else, reflect on the good times you had but don't cling to it, you can be that happy and that close to someone else again.
Count yourself lucky for the people that are constant in your life and how they make you feel, surround yourself with people that build you up, add value to your life and help you through the good and the bad.
Love T,
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